I reply....I'm not here because I fell down. I'm here cuz I got up.....
I'm in a Joe Budden mood. I feel like just putting my headphones and listening to all Mood Muziks, rolling an L, pouring a glass of wine and not thinking about today. If only life were that easy.. -shrug- it's not. I'm disgruntled and I have a chip on my shoulder. Sometimes I get tired of working so hard when people who don't do shit with themselves are glamorized. Sometimes I want to get ig'nant and curse people out, start fights, and act foolish. Shit.....sometimes I want to steal and sell drugs for some quick cash. Doing shit the right way is so god damned hard.......it's even harder when we live in a society where people look at you like you're dumb for wanting to be legit. I'm trying to do more than stacking cheese........I'm trying to build a fucking legacy.
I'm ranting......I don't know why I feel so down and out....Honestly, I've always been this way. I remember being a little girl and getting so angry,upset,sad.....crying and screaming at the drop of a dime. The going family joke is that Mara has "issues"......my cousins would sing "Mara, Mara why you buggin'???" .....I DO have issues....I DO feel like shit a lot of the time....I feel like no one takes me seriously. I'm always second guessing myself.....my self esteem could be a lot higher......I don't feel like I do anything right. But when I stop and look at my son, husband, and life.....I know that can't be right. So what the fuck is wrong with me?
I know y'all.....I got issues.....I acknowledge that they are real....and shit I try to work them out...... :o|
-»end rant«-
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