Hi, my name is Tamara and I have an incompetent cervix. I was diagnosed back in January 2009 after losing Jourdin at 21 weeks gestation. For those who don't know (and I've come to notice there's a lot of people who don't) incompetent cervix (IC) is a weakened cervix....its typically not diagnosed until after multiple pregnancy losses. My doctor believes that my cervix may have been weakened during Jaelin's 16 hour delivery. You see I had Jaelin preterm as well....and in typical Jaelin fashion....halfway through labor...he decided to stop descending and stayed put with his big ol' noggin pressing up against my cervix....for about 8 hours before they decided to do a c-section. Now with my next pregnancy I will need to have a Cerclage done. Once again, for those who don't know.....that is a procedure where they basically sew your cervix shut to help keep the pregnancy. They do this around 14 weeks gestation. So for about 6-7 months, I would not be able to have sex...or do much work. This is a huge factor in our future baby making plans....its scary....I'm scared to death of losing another, BUT we decided that we would like to try for another child.....sometime this spring/early summer.
Here I am, I am a 24 year old young wife and mother who wants to expand her family. I even switched to Nuvaring (eh...don't love it...I'll leave that for another post) which supposedly is easily reversible when a woman is ready to TTC. I was on it for 2 months....then suddenly missed a period. I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant due to the dozen negative results I've gotten. I decided to see a doctor as I'm nearing 4 weeks late.....and found out that I have atypical glandular cells of undetermined significance. Whatever the fuck that means, right?!?! lol. I have abnormal cervical cells....which means I need to have further testing to make sure I don't have anything cancerous or precancerous going on down there. I'm confident that everything is fine and this is a precaution. The doctor doesn't believe I'm pregnant, but said it was hard to tell due to excessive endometrial lining. Which can be a number of things. In two weeks, I have to go in for an ultrasound, a colposcopy, and a possible biopsy. From what I'm gathering a colposcopy is pretty much like a PAP smear but with a camera.
I'm frustrated. I mean I really want to try for another baby, and I hope there isn't anything wrong that will cause infertility. Having IC is bad enough...I really wish my reproductive organs would just fucking cooperate. I'm too young for this shit. I come from a family of women with reproductive issues. My grandmother and Aunt have had very early hysterectomies (before age 30) and my mother has fibroids and possibly cysts. I'm hoping history doesn't repeat itself. Ontop of all of my worries, I can't even have some sexual therapy before the procedure is done....and won't be able to have sex for a while after depending on the results. So I'm going to be a hot and bothered crampy mess for the month of October. I hope AF returns soon, and maybe all this will go away :/ talk about wishful thinking.
This may be TMI......fuck it.....I think more women need to speak up about issues like this. Because honestly before losing Jourdin....I had no idea any of this existed......
Regardless....I'll be fine.......I have no choice but to fine.....I really can't let shit hold me down, I can only hope for the best and let the Big Man Above handle the rest.
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